For the last six weeks I’ve been in VA taking care of sick parents. VA is an interesting place. The capital, Richmond, is divided by the James River. Although your history books will tell you VA was a southern state the truth is that on the north side of the James River the people think of themselves as Northerners. On the south side, people speak with a twang. As I was often on both sides of the river, I’ve made a list of what I hate and love about the South. So here goes:
- Fox News—It’s everywhere! Playing in the lawyer’s office, the doctor’s office, the service station.
- Too much beer—Beer drunks are mean and obnoxious
- Sweet Iced tea—I like my Iced tea unsweetened and lately there is a resurgence of Sweet Tea. Thanks TrueBlood.
- Rebel Flags—You lost the war, move on.
- Stadium sized churches—These places are really scary. “And Gawd will strike thee down…”
- Lots of fast food restaurants—I gain a pound a day.
- Greetings by strangers—Can be nice, but as a writer, I live mostly in my head and I don’t like to be disturbed.
- Enlarged body space—For most people this is about 1 foot or 1 ½ foot of comfort, for Southerners it’s about 3 feet. So weird how people step away from in the stores like I have body odor. I’ve checked. I don’t.
- Kudzu—Can’t get away from it and can’t see what’s under it if you have to walk through it. Don’t walk through it!
- Southern Rock—I’d forgotten how great those whining guitars could pump me up.
- Grits—My husband says they taste like wallpaper paste, but if you like them, you love ‘em.
- The accent—Musical except over the loudspeaker at Walmart.
- Too much beer—It is fun to watch people who’ve had too much.
- Lots of fast food restaurants—I’m a fast food junkie and where I live they’re outlawed.
- Warm beaches—The water at the beaches where I live comes from Alaska so I love splashing around in the warm current of the Atlantic or Gulf.
Feel free to add your own Hates and Loves to the list.